So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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