Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
