I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
