flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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