i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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