that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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