mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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