...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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