He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
