He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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