he shaved USA in his pubs
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize