how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
