I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
