Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
