theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
