I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
