So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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