Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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