their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
