Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
