Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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