She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
