Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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