everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
