Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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