I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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