that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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