Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
