She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
