Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
