I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
