she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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