I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
