She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
