Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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(207): View more from Maine

I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7

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(941): View more from Florida

Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.

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(630): View more from Illinois

the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(940): View more from Texas

This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

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(516): View more from New York

Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.

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(509): View more from Washington

Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.

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