Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.

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  (801): Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list. http://tfl.nu/2ara
  Replies (129) Good night (2906) Bad night (508)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...

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  (202): if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess... http://tfl.nu/v82v
  Replies (10) Good night (1216) Bad night (2754)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4603) Bad night (708)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?

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  (509): why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings? http://tfl.nu/epiw
  Replies (9) Good night (1055) Bad night (3262)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring

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  (207): I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring http://tfl.nu/1cyo
  Replies (18) Good night (4530) Bad night (1079)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i don't really know how much tequila is too much

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  (815): i don't really know how much tequila is too much http://tfl.nu/p5o7
  Replies (16) Good night (4383) Bad night (1628)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that

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  (902): I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that http://tfl.nu/4tc7
  Replies (5) Good night (2712) Bad night (716)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?

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  (609): Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace? http://tfl.nu/pga4
  Replies (9) Good night (2044) Bad night (801)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.

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  (920): You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day. http://tfl.nu/y8lp
  Replies (10) Good night (2793) Bad night (820)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes

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  (229): dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes http://tfl.nu/v2kt
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (1341)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.

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  (248): Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'. http://tfl.nu/4pwa
  Replies (10) Good night (5458) Bad night (770)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

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  (604): Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features. http://tfl.nu/e715
  Replies (10) Good night (1885) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.

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  (630): Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me. (1-630): Pulling out all the stops on being a lady. http://tfl.nu/6gwr
  Replies (2) Good night (1339) Bad night (459)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

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  (508): Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list http://tfl.nu/sa1j
  Replies (4) Good night (766) Bad night (349)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.

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  (206): I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come. http://tfl.nu/a9r3
  Replies (0) Good night (684) Bad night (275)

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