I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
