too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
