She's JV to your varsity
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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