WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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