Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
