sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dick very happy bro
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
