I wish life had little blips of pornography
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
