just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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