Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
