You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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