"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
