I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
