i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
