'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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