I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The ass gains better be worth it
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