I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
