Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
