I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
