It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
