direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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