You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
