im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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