sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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