she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
