NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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