did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
