I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize