fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
