why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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