Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
