my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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