dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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